How to come to a party

How to come to a party

How to show up at a party full of strangers all by yourself? And for the first time as well! The first time! Hey! You’ve never been there before! There are people there who know each other, and talk, and drink, and dance! And you know no one! And now you’re supposed to show up without a friend, all alone, and, to make the matters even worse, start dancing!?

No way, José! No can do. Nema šanse. No me interesa. Non lo voglio fare. It’s quite certain that there are more people wanting to attend a party than there are those who actually come. And because they never come to a party, they never get a chance to fall in love with all this dancing business. It may also be that they didn’t fall in love with the dance during the classes, so they’re not motivated to come to parties either. If that’s the case, I can’t be of any help, but I’d like to help at least those who’d like to come to a party, but they find the idea of going to a place full of strangers so difficult that it’s become an obstacle so great that it’s keeping them from dancing.

Of course, extroverts don’t have such problems, or at least not in any significant measure. I am writing this for introverts - the ones like me (it rarely happens that a superhero is an extrovert, otherwise they wouldn’t hide in caves and behind masks). I am writing this to emphasise that it’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable when you’re going alone to a party full of strangers.

The majority of people like having company even for far more trivial activities than dancing. Very few people will go to the cinema, the theatre or a concert alone. It’s hard to find company for new, interesting and "different" things - especially if you’re over thirty - and if you don’t want to miss the best things in life, you have to swallow all your doubts and just go alone.

Going to the very first dancing lesson is an endeavour in itself, it has to be said. But, the very first dancing party isn’t any less demanding an endeavour. How to overcome shyness or whatever it is that’s setting us back from going there without thinking about it twice? The solution will appear somehow.

  1. Maybe you’re lucky and the party is right after the class. Order a drink, take a few sips, and simply ask someone for a dance. It’s always the easiest to ask someone from your class. (Or someone will ask you for a dance.)
  2. Maybe you’ll get to know someone from you class and you’ll be able to go to a party together.
  3. If you don’t have anyone to go with, just show up an hour after the party has begun - by that time, enough people will have arrived, so you'll be able to just blend into the crowd, disappear into the walls, and no one will notice that you have, in fact, come (Shock! Horror!) alone.
  4. Maybe your desire to dance will simply overcome everything that’s pulling you back, and you’ll come to a party no matter what, despite all your demons.

All in all, no one will eat you because you came alone, no one will think
you’re a weirdo and lame, or that you don’t have any friends. If anything,
they’ll all think that it was about time for someone cute, handsome and
single to show up at the party.


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